acts 4:12

For salvation is found in no one else; for there is no other name, under heaven given to men, by which we must be saved.

I remember shortly after i decided to become a Christian i was going through a really hard time dealing with what it meant to follow Christ. I remember feeling really alone. Feeling really distant from other people, and unable to connect. On the one hand there were people from church that i knew but was not really friends with, and on the other there were guys in highschool who just did not like me, and i really did not like them, although I idolized the idea of friendship. That was my salvation, being cool, being liked, being popular. Not being alone, or unconnected.

This has come up many times in my life, and i somehow keep coming back to this verse. I can't be saved by anyone but Jesus. No friendship, no relationship, no small group, church community, ministry, job, finacial status, car, cloths, body image, hair cut, song, book, verse, religioun, act, or lack of sin. Nothing can save me but Jesus. I am not sitting here writing this passionatly, just more matter of factly. I have talked with friends recently and have gotten extremly passionate about it. Like where you feel it deep in your chest. I don't really feel anything now. I feel discontent, i feel like i want to have a cigarette, i feel like i am wanting my salvation to be found in something i can put in front of me and touch, another human. Or a song i can hear, or a feeling i can have. The truth is none of those will bring me salvation or take it away. Jesus is where salvation is found. I am so greatful to know that and have him as my savior. I am greatful for what he has done for me, and what he has done for you. I am thankful that my salvation is not dependent upon myself or my actions, but on what has already been done through Christ. no matter what i go through, he has me, no matter my struggles, my fears, my anxieties my insecurities. he is there. I am thankful. Derek Webb talks about Charles Spergeon saying if you have big sin you have a big savior, but if your sin is small then your savior will be small too. I still don't know the extent of my sin, i know it sits on my heart and in my chest. I know it is huge and i know it is almost never ending, i know i have caused great pain in people, that i might not ever be able to ask forgiveness from, and i know i have turned very far away from God at times in my life. I have huge sin. And i thank Jesus, because he is my huge savior. And i am thankful that there is nothing else i can find my salvation in but in him.