connection

I have a desire to be found
to be know inside and out
to be loved by something i can touch and see.

but when this desire is unwound
i find my knees fall to the ground.
I know that you are really
the only one i need.

So forgive me when i turn away
forgive me when i replace
the call of your voice
for a love that seems more easy right now.

In side my head i don't feel alive,
in my heart, i just want to survive,
and out side i just wish someone else would recognize
the heart that i want to give.

But i know all this is only pride
i know that its a dirty rag that i provide,
I know that that my life should be sacrificed
without wanting or needing to be glorified.


so hand me the curtians or mop that i need
to do for you what you will for me,
and stop my heart from feeling small
for doing what in my mind seems so menial
for wanting to be a king to be seen
instead of this sinner i know that is me.
Give me your peace and confidence
to help me to get rid of this
monster inside whose hunger won't die
in needing to be known
in needing to be shown

affirmation in the person that i am.
Let me rest inside your plan.
let me hold on to your grace,
and not look away.